for you, stalk.. i mean, brandi

so, here i am, sitting in terminal A14 in the houston international bush airport, sipping on a Naked blue machine smoothie. 27 blueberries, 3 blackberries, 3 and 1/4 apples, and 1 banana all in one bottle. insane. i love these things.

the skies are blue, clear, and flights are taking off all over the place. this is a surprisingly small airport considering that it's international. then again, after flying from atlanta so many times, it's hard to not be disappointed by other airports. the chicago airports can't even compare to atlanta's.

i'm probably going to pick up dry by augusten burroughs again in a few minutes. still on page seventeen. told you it wouldn't change too fast.

my flight leaves at 12:50, and thankfully it's 11:03. usually i get here hours earlier. i've only been waiting since 10:30. can you believe that all they had for entertainment was a mcdonalds, one small news stand/store, a starbucks, a 'natural' foods store (where i got my smoothie in a bottle haha), a chicago pizzeria (but it's 6 dollars a slice!!! shit son i'm not paying that), and a mexican food place. that's IT. it's.. insane to me? usually there's dozens and dozens of places. atlanta has this badass dinosaur skeleton in a lounge full of soft, squishy chairs and couches. i can't wait until i get to go there haha.

i miss crouton already. i don't care how pathetic it sounds. we're really attached to each other. from all the research i did, delta didn't allow dogs PERIOD during the summer months, june-august. guess what this obnoxious teenager a few seats over has? an insane freaking chihuahua that keeps barking for no reason. it kind of pissed me off. yeah.

<3

addiction

is equivelent to www.overheardinnewyork.com. if you ever want cookies, come to my house. i'm a serious pro. the strawberry banana cookies are fabulous, if i do say so myself.

new things in my life:

-shorter hair
-step brothers bass is mine (and soon to be matt's)
-awesome green shorts and blue shirt (trust me, i don't really wear them
together haha. just needed to try them both on.)
-hosting a huge garage sale
-sleeping on a couch in the front yard for four hours
-playing guitar hero on the front porch
- i'm going somewhere amazing soon. can't say where yet, someone may be lurking that isn't allowed to know

'til next time,
<3

thank you, stranger, for your therapeutic smile

not a lot has been happening. or, at least, nothing exciting. i've still been feeling pretty damn shitty. i sleep so much that it's sickening, and i can't help it. i can't stay awake longer than 5 hours. i've been informed that it's possibly a lack of protein. i have yet to decide if i agree with this or not. i don't think i do. however, today we did go to the store and i now have an entire section of the cabinet dedicated to vegetarian foods :) wooo. how exciting my life is.

today was my last day at klein oak. indescribable. completely surreal. i don't think it's processed in my mind yet, that i'll never go back there. i don't think that my mind is ready to accept that the best thing in my life is part of my life no more. this affects me so much more than anyone will ever know, or begin to understand.

summer has officially started. my plans? lay around miserably, miss my friends, and get a job that i don't want. why am i getting a job that i don't want? because i'm seventeen years old, almost eighteen, and my father won't even let me choose where i work.

i may get to go to alabama to see my family and my best friend before she leaves for college, but again, my dad probably isn't going to let me. even if i pay for it.

i was supposed to spend half of the summer in chicago, but my dad won't let me. spending time with people that i care about, that care about me, is 'unnecessary'.

i've been dying to move in with my sister angie in august so that i can go to klein oak one more year. one more year, my senior year, so that i won't have to start all over again, for the fourth time. my dad's sadistic ways won't even begin to allow it.

i wanted to see a movie with my best friends, as a final goodbye, but my dad wouldn't let me. driving 10 miles is just such a fucking inconvenience for him.

so, who's seen the pattern?

i just always feel so miserable at home. getting yelled at gets so old after a while. especially when you don't deserve it. klein oak... it was my only escape. the only time i ever, truly, felt happy and at home. and it's gone. forever is such a long time. it's starting to sink in.i hate this constant lost feeling. is moving always this hard? it's never felt this horrible before, not in my experiences. i've never felt this hopeless before. am i ever going to find my way?

<3

mankind's almost out of luck

tomorrow i can't go to school. the last real day of school, one of the last days that i get to see so many amazing kids, but i can't go. my uncle is having emergency heart surgery. it's weird, he seems too invincible to have problems like that. i'm sure he'll be fine. i have to babysit my baby cousin and get the two older ones ready for school. i hope it won't be too bad. it probably won't, they're cool cats. dave grohl as satan = lovely paint is fun. hello inaccurate self portrait =3 i recommend you download still fly by the devil wears prada. it's usually always amusing to hear a rap song become a screamo/metal song. it's even better if it's actually pulled off well, such as this one.